Thursday, January 7, 2016
Always Sunny- Every Episode Rated!
The Gang Gets Racist- 3
1. Charlie Gets Crippled- 3 Danny Devito
1. The Gang Finds A Dumpster Baby- 3
1. Mac and Dennis Man Hunters- 3 Eating humans
1. The Gang Solves the Mortgage Crises- 4 Bird Law, Vic Vinegar
1. Mac Fights Gay Marriage- 3 Maurine Pandarosa, Mac Religions
1. Frank's Pretty Woman- 3 Fat Mac
1. PopPop The Final Solution- 4 Ocular pat down, Hitler painting
1. The Gang Broke Dee- 4 The Jokes on Dee, break Dennis
1. The Gang Beats Boggs- 5
1. Chardee MacDennis 2: Electric Bugaloo- 4
1. The Gang Turns Black- 5 Quantum Leap, what are the ru
1. The Gang Makes Paddy's Great Again- 2 Dennis Sex Doll
Wednesday, December 2, 2015
30 Second Movie Reviews
Just some brief bullet points of my most recent movie experiences:
Avengers Age of Ultron
- Didn't we just see a huge robot fight in Iron Man 3
- Just more of the same super hero-ness
- The building of Hawkeye's character was okay
- Ho-hum
2\5
Focus
Will Smith
- A con movie that is enjoyable to watch
- One too many cons in the end
- That main actress is so hot
- The football stadium scene is done really well
3\5
Get Hard
Will Ferrell, Kevin Hart
- Completely forgettable movie
- Honestly, I saw this a few weeks ago and can't remember a thing
1\5
Inside Out
Pixar
- Disappointing, not a "return to Pixar magic"
- Very childish, not a lot of heart
- Annoying characters
- Simple plot over dramatized
1\5
Jurassic World
Jessica Chastain, Chris Pratt
- I think I liked this more than I should have
- Lots of homages to the original
- I have a thing for Jessica Chastain
- Action sequences are cool but the plot is exactly the same as the first
2\5
Results
Guy Pierce, Cobie Smulders
- 3 main characters, unique movie
- Guy pierce kills it, as usual
- Good character development
- Funny yet dramatic
- Ends a bit too abruptly and neatly
3\5
The End of the Tour
Jason Segel, Jessie Eisenberg
- Simple story, nothing too fascinating
- Segel does a good job but nothing amazing
- Eisenberg is the most annoying and unlikable actor ever
- Meh
2\5
Tomorrowland
George Clooney
- Great action sequences, awful plot
- Average Clooney, kid actors are pretty decent
- Good to test your surround sound and HiDef TV
2\5
Unfinished Business
Vince Vaughn
- Some funny moments but filled with over the top low-brow comedy
- Dave Franco's character is just silly
- No great Vince Vaughn over the top moments
- Scenes in his "hotel room" are the most humorous
1\5
Me and Earl and the Dying Girl
- Great mix of drama and comedy
- Emotions don't feel forced, in fact they feel very real
- Good young and generally unknown acting
- Filmed very well
- Realistic view of cancer at a younger age
4\5
Paper Towns
- Similar feel and mood to Me and Earl and the Dying Girl, although this movie doesn't pull it off
- Had high hopes but in the end, it's a typical coming of age high school story
2\5
Spy
Melissa McCarthy, Jude Law
- Over hyped and overrated
- Some funny scenes
- McCarthy's character is unbelievable
- Predictable plot
- Jason Stathem is just annoying
2\5
Digging for Fire
Jake Johnson, Sam Rockwell
- From the director and writer of Drinking Buddies, but not nearly as good
- Sam Rockwell is great but underutilized
- Orlando Bloom is actually pretty decent, where has he been?
- Very slow and uneventful, but good character development
- Jake Johnson's interactions with random girl are uniquely real and honest
2\5
Vacation
Ed Helms
- This didn't need to be made
- Charlie Day with a great cameo
- Chevy Chase is so fat and old now
- Ed Helms just doesn't have the same kind of freak out ability as Chase did
- The kids are underutilized
2\5
Zipper
Patrick Wilson, Lena Heady
- Patrick Wilson is a very underrated actor
- Intriguing view of a very common issue/addiction
- Nice little twist
- Lena Heady is great as well
- Very unique movie with a different perspective
4\5
Self/less
Ben Kinglsey, Ryan Reynolds
- Tarsem Singh directed another movie! Too bad it isn't good
- It had some promise early but it ends as an over the top action movie
- Flame thrower...really?
- Disappointing
2\5
Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation
Tom Cruise,Jeremy Renner
- MI 3 is still the best mission!
- Your typical Tom Cruise show off fest
- Renner and Baldwin bring in some freshness
- Ving Rhames utterly useless
- The underwater scene is cringe inducing
2\5
Bone Tomahawk
Kurt Russel, Mathew Fox, Patrck Wilson
- Western mixed with some horror/suspense
- Interesting characters, good acting all around
- Patrick Wilson had a great year
3\5
Chris Evans
- Shades of "before" trilogy
- Chris Evans is better than his Captain America character limits
- Female lead is good
- Emotional and moving
3\5
Self/less
Ben Kinglsey, Ryan Reynolds
- Tarsem Singh directed another movie! Too bad it isn't good
- It had some promise early but it ends as an over the top action movie
- Flame thrower...really?
- Disappointing
2\5
Monday, March 30, 2015
Movie Reviews 3/30/2015
Just some brief bullet points of my most recent movie experiences:
The Babadook
- Above average horror movie
- More suspense than horror
- A good view on real life issues
- Not as impressive as I've been lead to believe
3\5
Horrible Bosses 2
Jason Bateman, Charlie Day, Jason Sudekies
- First one is a classic
- Tried too hard not to repeat itself
- Dumb-ed up the characters in order to progress the plot
- Chris Pine is surprisingly entertaining
- Too much Jamie Fox in this one
- Throwback jokes worked at times and feel short at other times
3\5
Incendies
- Well made foreign language film
- Dark, depressing, violent, suspenseful and gut wrenching
- Unique story and delivery
- Great ending
4\5
Inherent Vice
Jaquine Phoenix
- Think Big Lebowski meets Boogie Nights
- Good acting and at times very comedic
- Slow and convoluted plot
- Very old-school LA Noir story with an 70's-80's vibe
- Drags on too long and becomes tedious instead of suspenseful or humorous
- Unlikable characters
2\5
Imitation Game
Benedict Cumberback
- Intriguing premise and story
- I love Kiera Knightly
- History facts are taken liberties with
- Feels like you've seen this character before, Sherlock Holmes
- Ends without any pop
3\5
John Wick
Keanu Reeves
- Great job of creating a unique world
- Fun brainless action movie
- Idiotic characters make idiotic decisions in order to progress plot
- The action wasn't a impressive as I've heard
- Plot too contrived and forced
- Watch the Raid for action!
2\5
A Most Violent Year
Oscar Issac, Jessica Chastain
- Great performances from Oscar Issac and Jessica Chastain
- Moody and quiet
- Great music
- Suspenseful and irking but at times slow
- Unique and realistic chase scenes
- Interesting view of a marriage
- Ending falls flat
4\5
Whiplash
JK Simmons
- Loud and in your face
- Surprisingly tense and amusing for a movie about drumming
- Unexpected plot twists
- Solid acting and story
- Small scale plot
4\5
Alexander and the No Good, Very Bad, Horrible Day
Steve Carell
- A very watchable kids movie
- Playfully childish but not tedious
- Fun and feel good movie worth watching
3\5
Coherence
- Unique Sci-fi movie with an interesting concept
- Concept falls short
- Filmed well
- Below average acting
2\5
The Pretty One
Jake Johnson
- Smart, unique and dark
- Fun and awkward
- Limited plot
- Jake Johnson is great in everything
- Worth watching
3\5
Wednesday, December 31, 2014
Top Movies of 2014
Top 10 of 2014
10. The One I Love
Like most indie movies, I didn't have any clue of what this was about when I watched it. I avoided the trailers and I'm glad I did. I might still not have a clue even after watching it, but I do know that I enjoyed every minute of it. I don't want to get into the details of the plot, but I can say, don't let the title fool you. On the surface, it is a romantic drama\comedy but as plot points unfold, there's more to it than just that.
The acting is solid, the film making is above average but it's the mood of the movie that really stuck with me. It's very unique and un-explainable. All I have left to say is watch it, and I dare you to try not to think about it after its over.
(You can watch this on Netflix)
9. Dawn of the Planet of the Apes
Like most indie movies, I didn't have any clue of what this was about when I watched it. I avoided the trailers and I'm glad I did. I might still not have a clue even after watching it, but I do know that I enjoyed every minute of it. I don't want to get into the details of the plot, but I can say, don't let the title fool you. On the surface, it is a romantic drama\comedy but as plot points unfold, there's more to it than just that.
The acting is solid, the film making is above average but it's the mood of the movie that really stuck with me. It's very unique and un-explainable. All I have left to say is watch it, and I dare you to try not to think about it after its over.
(You can watch this on Netflix)
I can't believe I just wrote those words (above) in a top 10 list. Is that a discredit to the movies of 2014 or is it a credit to the movie. I don't really know...both?
A sequel to a prequel of a reboot. Yes, that's what this movie is, and generally when you say one of those words (reboot, prequel, sequel) , I'm internally built to disregard the movie. The reason this movie works is due to the fact that it doesn't have a lot of boundaries placed by the other movies. The prequal, nor the originals have told this story before, so it's free to develop on its own.
There are a lot of, "I should have seen that coming" moments, most are heavy handed but they all work and are, most of the time, enjoyable. The majority of what you will take away form this movie are themes of power, corruption and humanity. As much as these apes hate humans, they have to act like humans to get what they want. It's a pretty sly satire that earned it's place as one of the best movies of the year.
8. Edge of Tomorrow
First the bad; I hated the ending. You now how it's going to end, but you don't see how they can pull it off, so it almost tricks you into thinking it won't end that way...then they introduce this cockamamie deus ex machina to fix it all and you want to punch the television in the heart.
Other than that, it's got everything. Action, laughs, the groundhog day effect, Tom Cruise, robots, aliens, alien robots! It even has some spurts of realism and drama. It's a fun blockbuster flick that everyone will enjoy.
7. The Rover
I'm torn on this movie as it almost didn't make the top 10...but now it's #7. I had high hopes for this as I knew the director from a previous film called Animal Kingdom (which is slowly becoming one of my favorite movies). I got what I expected, an in your face, harsh and mean vision of an Australian apocalyptic future. Visually, the movie is beautiful yet gritty. The world feels lived in, and you get a sense of the pain, despair and desolation that the characters have. Guy Pierce does an amazing job (not the first time that's every been said) with little dialogue. He's mean, he's crazy, he's got nothing left but he wants his car back, and as silly as that sounds, you believe him every second of the journey. Which is what this movie is, a journey from point at to point b with some stops and new characters in between...an odyssey if you will. However, like many odysseys, it drags on a little too long, and certain stops and characters are un-needed. Robert Pattensen isn't a bad actor but his character really annoys me and practically ruins the enjoyment out of any scene he is in. Take out his character, and you get a shorter yet more satisfying movie.
The ending is a coin flip in my opinion, I appreciated it, however I see why it will be hated as well.
6. Night Crawler
Nightcrawler is a fantastic look behind the eyes of someone who is a psychopath. Definition of a psycopath: a person with a psychopathic personality whose behavior is antisocial, often criminal, and who lacks a sense of moral responsibility or social conscience. Bang. That is what you get here through an amazing performance by Gyllenhaal. The character is not over acted, not in your face crazy, there is no "I want chaos" mentality, he's just f-ing crazy. Since Enemy and Prisoners, Gyllenhaal has been someone I've started to pay attention to but this movie puts him over the top. You actually wonder at points of the movie if this is who Gyllenhaal really is since he pulls it off so well.
The movie has some flaws though. Media culture plays a big role in the movie and they ham it up a bit too much and it's not anything we haven't seen before. So that gets tiresome. What also gets tiresome is Hollywood's habit to not trust the audience and overfeed us. The ending in this movie is a prime example of that. The filmmakers spend almost 2 hours showing us how crazy this person is. It's a slight and steady crawl (get it) into his brain but we do...get it. We don't need a big dramatic confrontation to prove that this man is crazy but they do it anyway and to me it takes away some of the realism and subtleties it had going for it.
With all that said, I can forgive the ending because it's such a unique view into a twisted mind.
5. How to Train Your Dragon 2
What a franchise! Although I can't say that this is better than the first, it is just as original and heart warming, which is rare of a sequal. I had my doubts but as the movie progressed I realized that they weren't just making a a sequal, they were progressing the story and advancing the franchise. This is a kids movie but I was kept on the edge of my seat with twists and turns and a wonderful story. One last thing to add, much like the original, this is a movie that should be seen in 3D. It's flipping amazing!
4. Fury
First, let me start off by saying, Saving Private Ryan is the greatest war movie that ever is, ever was and ever will be. When discussing other war movies, it is best to forget about SPR because nothing will hold a candle to it, nothing.
Now that we got that out of the way, Fury is a great war movie. At times it's unique and at times typical, but an enjoyable experience all around. The thing that separates this film from others is the dynamic of the group of men you spend over 2 hours with. It isn't your typical band of brothers, we're best friends stuff. The first impressions of the group unity come off as rocky at best. These guys really don't like one another, and would you? After spending years cooped up in a tank with strangers, it feels real. Their arguments on religion, their confrontations about women it all feels awkward and tense. Brad Pitt does a great job as usual here. You believe him when he feels remorse, you believe him when he forces murder upon someone else and you believe him when he says he's going to rape someone. It's a crazy range but he pulls it off without any over acting. There are so many great scenes in this movie but non more when the group of men drink a little too much and decide to confront Pitt. I haven't seen a more tense moment on film since the last Tarantino movie.
My only problem with the movie is the ending. It's a little too glorious and over the top for me, especially since the movie is a pretty realistic and grim view of war.
3. The Drop
I could say a lot of things about The Drop, but what it all comes down to is Tom Hardy's character and the performance he puts into it. The movie is as unpredictable and tense as any this year and that has a lot to do with Hardy. The movie feels a lot like Eastern Promises which also featured a strong lead character played by Vigo Mortensen.
This is Gandolfini's last role and it's a beauty, it's sad to see him go. The 'villain' of the film also does a great job at making the audience terrified even if he has no reason or purpose for what he's doing. Usually, I don't appreciate a characters motivation being chaos and death mostly because it's not realistic. However, with this character, you see it in his eyes and you believe that he doesn't have a reason to do something, but he'll still do it.
Overall, it's a "small picture" movie that feels much grander and it will make you wonder about people that you think you know.
2. Birdman
About halfway through the movie, I knew this was going to make the top 10, I just didn't know where it would be positioned. I'm still not sure it is my second favorite movie of the year but due to it's originality and shoot for the stars mentality, it deserves to be here (for now at least).
Going into the movie I knew what to expect, I knew about the editing of the movie and about the ambiguous ending. Although I love continuous tracking scenes, (Children of Men has some of my favorites) I thought it would be gimmicky and tiresome. To my surprise neither was the case, in fact it really added a depth to the movie that it would not have had if it were filmed in a typical fashion. After a while it was easy to forget about the camerawork as it drew you into the story and more so, the mind of the characters. The constant moving of the camera made you feel the intensity and the busyness of what was happening much like an ER episode. The movie will be shown in film school for years to come for it's technical ingenuity.
The camerawork and editing aren't the only stars in this movie, Keaton, Norton are the highest level they have ever been. Although I love Keaton, that isn't saying much, but for Norton, he's a tremendous talent and he really outdoes himself here. The supporting cast is great as well and at different points in the movie each one gets their time to shine. With that said, Norton disappears for the last 20 minutes of the movie giving the others some more room but you do miss him as there is a lack of tension without him.
1.Lego Movie
This movie is hands down the best movie of the year. It's not just a Lego fan's movie, its a movie fan's movie. It makes fun of other movies, itself, Legos, pop culture, all the while having a heart and soul that isn't forced. The story, the jokes and the characters fit in perfectly together and the sappy ending doesn't feel sappy at all. In fact, I agree with Lord Business!
Technically speaking this movie is a generation ahead of other animated movies. This movie is made to look as if it were stop motion, but it is fully animated. The direction is outstanding and if there was ever a nomination for 'best director' that went to an animated movie, it should be this one. The details that were added are unbelievable to the point of obnoxious. Every digital piece of lego used in the movie is based on a real piece. Every building has a Lego schematic. The Legos move like Legos would, and at times when they need to move in ways that aren't physically possible, well the pieces pop out as if a child was playing with them. Dust and fingerprints were added to the Lego pieces to make them seem even more realistic.
I've seen the movie a few times already, and each time I watch, I catch a new joke or something visually different in the background. It's a movie that will never get old and it is the best movie of 2014.
I can literally go on forever, but just watch some outtakes:
Honorable Mentions
A Most Wanted Man
Chef
22 Jump Street
Joe
Ex Machina
Worst Movie of the Year
Tammy
Friday, October 31, 2014
Minute Multi-Movie Reviews!
I've pounded out so many movies these past few weeks that my brain is starting to mesh some of them together. I need to record my thoughts so I don't confuse Ride Along with any other movie and accidentally watch it again. So here my "Minute reviews" for October 30 2014:
The One I Love
Sex Tape
Edge Of Tomorrow
Mr. Peabody and Sherman
Let's Be Cops
A Most Wanted Man
Joe
Filth
Chef
The Rover
Godzilla
Third Person
Life After Beth
Maleficent
2\5
The Drop
Gone Girl
Ride Along
Rob The Mob
Whish I Was Here
Begin Again
The One I Love
Mark Duplass
- Think indie comedy with a Twilight Zone twist
- Suspenseful and exciting
- The reveal has some holes
- The confusion is a little frustrating but the enjoyment trumps
- Although the trailer is great, I'd avoid it until after you see the movie
4\5
Sex Tape
Jason Segal, Cameron Diaz
- Relies on raunchy sex jokes that we've seen before
- The awkward conversations and technology gags make the movie
- Apple cool-aid
- Too much man ass
- For some reason, I'd still watch this again
2\5
Edge Of Tomorrow
Tom Cruise, Emily Blunt
- Great special effects, well made movie
- Good fun popcorn flick
- The ending is so blah
- Groundhog day is still the best!
3\5
Mr. Peabody and Sherman
Animated
- Witty, different, smart
- Great dialog
- Not many forced "action scenes"
- Possibly too boring for kids
- Unpredictable as far as children movies go
3\5
Let's Be Cops
Jake Johnson
- Surprisingly smart and enjoyable
- Great buddy movie
- Some routine gags
- Toned down yet still humorous version of 21/22 Jump Street
4\5
A Most Wanted Man
Phillip Seymour Hoffman, William Dafoe
- Great Acting
- Tense throughout
- Comparable to Tinker Tailor Solider Spy, although a lesser movie
- Unsatisfying ending
4\5
Joe
Nicolas Cage
- Best Cage movie\performance since Kick Ass
- Similar to Winters Bone, possibly better
- Cage makes the movie
- A little too long
3\5
Filth
James McAvoy
- The title explains it
- Hard to watch with no redeemable characters
- Great performance from McAvoy
- Comparable to Dom Hemingway but a lesser movie in every way
- The mood is too grim
2\5
Chef
John Favreau
- Food porn, makes you hungry immediately
- Great film making
- Obviously ad-libbed and improvised dialog falls short
- Feel good movie
- Recommend to any and all foodies
4\5
The Rover
Guy Pierce, Robert Patterson
- Visually creative
- Suspenseful
- Could have done without Patterson's character
- Strange, unique and mysterious
- The reveal is unsatisfying yet interesting
4\5
Godzilla
Bryan Cranston
- Cranston is good
- Movie fails after Cranston becomes less involved
- Nothing new here
- I like the kid from Kick Ass but the character is very ho-hum
- Too long
1\5
Third Person
Liam Neeson, Oliva Wild, Mila Kunis, James Franco, Adrian Brody
- Interesting at times and well written
- A multi connecting story type movie that doesn't really connect all stories
- Could have done without the entire Adrian Brody section
- Good effort but a failure overall
- Olivia Wild and Mila Kunis, what more can you say?
- Olivia Wild
- Olivia Wild
- Seriously Olivia Wild
2\5
Life After Beth
Audry Plaza, Lukas Dehaan, John C. Reilly
- Fun and dark
- Pacing feels off
- Expected more from John C. Reilly
3\5
Maleficent
Angelina Jolie
- Not different enough from the original story to deserve it's own movie
- The shortness of the film is a plus
- A welcome dark view of a Disney world
2\5
The Drop
Tom Hardy, James Gandolfini
- RIP James Gandolfini
- Great acting all around
- Tom Hardy is the man
- Dog friendly
- Suspenseful and unpredictable
5\5 BANG!
Gone Girl
Ben Afleck
- Female lead is great and Afleck does a good job
- Major plot holes
- Very original and unique point of view
- Feels like Fincher (the director) keeps laying up with these novel adaptations
- Lots of twists and turns
4\5
Ride Along
Ice Cube
- Bad
- Ice Cube sucks
- Bad
1\5
Rob The Mob
Michael Pitt, Andy Garcia, Ray Romano
- Feels very 90's, which is a good thing
- Michal Pitt is charasmatic
- Interesting true story
- Garcia puts in a great performance
- Story feels a little forced
3\5
Whish I Was Here
Zack Braff
- No wonder Zack Braff didn't want to fund this himself
- Three main stories didn't feel congruent
- Has some touching and sweet moments
- Pacing is very awkward
2\5
Begin Again
Mark Ruffalo, Kiera Knightly
- I always enjoy Kiera and Ruffalo
- Passionate performances
- Beautiful film making
- Feel good movie
- A decent chick flick
3\5
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
BoJack Horseman: Season 1 Review
Watching the trailer above you'll learn a lot about the show, and at the same time, nothing at all. You'll learn that the show has a quality cast with at least two actors that you've heard of, Will Arnett and Aaron Paul. You'll learn that the premise of the show is about a former 90's TV sitcom star that is now washed up and has to deal with his fame, or lack there of. Finally you'll learn that the show is funny. Are any of these things not true? No. The trailer doesn't lie but it does withhold what becomes the larger part of the theme toward the last half of the show. I don't want to give too much away, there isn't a twist or anything, but in order to enjoy the show to its fullest, I think you should be forewarned that although it is consistently funny the episodes become increasingly dark and "real". The increasingly darker mood that the show projects does take away from some of the fun, but it is needed. Otherwise we'd just have another Simpsons or Family Guy, and that is what everyone seems to expect. I've learned a lot about comedy and more importantly comedians recently and this is why I think the show is a great satire on the world of comedy.
About a month ago I got stuck in a YouTube vortex of standup comedy. Watching 5 minute clips of Louis CK, Patten Oswald, David Chapelle, Daniel Tosh, etc, for over an hour. While watching some of Patten Oswald's stuff, he began to joke about depression, and how he has had and still has severe cases of depression. I was then taken by the YouTube gods to some Dave Chapelle bits. While watching, I remembered how he had gone MIA after his "breakdown" and looked it up, he too has severe depression. Everyone who knows anything about Lous CK doesn't need any more information from me in order to make the connection here. Last but not least, let's look back to a few weeks ago...Robin Williams. There seems to be something very real and dark underneath the jokes, silly antics and over the top excitement of these men. I think this show does a tremendous job at exploring the seriousness and silliness that one can have at the same time.
The coincidence of this show's release with Robin William's death is utterly amazing. In order for one to be so over the top funny and loved by everyone, you almost need a distain for yourself. You probably won't understand that statement until you watch this show, and I hope you do. In closing, expect to laugh, expect to feel a bit alone, and then hopefully you can laugh even though you feel alone.
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